I feel much better today. I had to vent my emotions or I thought I would crack and lose altitude. She doesn’t scare easily and she understands the way I think. It wasn’t just my insecurity bothering me yesterday. It was other things but today I’m fine. I will deal with the consequences of my choices, though in my mind I made the right choice and I know my immediate family agrees and many close friends. Only a few people know what I’m talking about and I want to keep it that way, but my blog is my “diary” so to speak and this is my therapy. The way I pour out my heart to binary code (rather than paper).
Tonight I have band practice with Creamery Road. A country/classic rock band from my hometown. One of my friends asked me to try out playing bass with them and it has worked out very well so far! It is another form of release for me where my heart and soul pours out in music through my fingers. Every Wednesday I can preverbaly slit my wrists and drain myself all over the floor. Everything came together very quick and smooth, I just fit in place.
Today is my 3rd day of Jimmy Johns instead of fast food for lunch. Still not doing well on the bad food at night, but in the morning and noon I am doing well. Next I have to start working out and try to kick smoking. If I can get a good workout regiment going on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday I should be able to drop another 15-20 lbs in no time. Size 36 pants here I come !!! 🙂