Posts Tagged ‘ exhaustion ’

Lost in the Echo

I life losing its appeal? Why do things seem to fall apart and disappoint all at once? The band is in turmoil again due to the ego and stupidity of our singer. School is a struggle everyday. I made the mistake of taking classes on campus this semester and it is causing a lot of stress between school and my work schedule. I am definitely looking forward to dropping my English class next week, I am way behind and don’t want to risk my GPA over an entry level class, I would rather redo it. I am thinking about changing my major as well and just going for the associates degree to start out. I will get my degree in networking and then start on my admin certs and the gen eds that I will need to get my bachelors. I am very burnt out. There is never time to relax unless I drop something…I still have the basement to work on at the house, the apartment to work on in Clinton, and the porch to turn into a bedroom for Tay in my apartment. Its not getting any warmer out so I better get started, soon. Then there is the lack of a woman in my life, enough said. Finally I have been sacrificing my time with Tay to try to catch up on work I don’t get done during the week, she is not getting any younger. For the first time she chose to not stay with me over the weekend. She said maybe next weekend. It hurts a little. I don’t love her any less but I miss her. It sucks that her mother decided to ban me from having anything to do with their family, but its life. I pay my child support, provide insurance for Tay, and spend as much time as schedules permit. Ohh well enough complaining. Tomorrow I have another interview with RHT & SMG we’ll see how it goes but Im not sure about the whole situation.

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Exiting the Rabbit Hole

A twinge in my gut told me it was done. I found myself going over and over in my mind from day on to now. I am fine with this life and fine with how it ended. I pray that everything works out for her. I will be there for her as a friend and a confidant, though she won’t confide in me. I will endure my time and be happy again.

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” but also, the pain that endures for the sake of my friend will forever be the downfall of my ability to love without memory of another.

None may ever read what I write but it is written to be remembered if by no one but myself.

Lately Ive been Tired

Lately I’ve been tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and any other type of tired I could be. Do you feel it too? The constant drag of life pulling you from every which way… It never lets go, lets up, lets you sleep. Or if you sleep you wake up feeling like you haven’t slept in years. Do you feel what I feel? Do you know what I feel?

Emery say it best, “Let’s take these lines and draw ourselves out of here…”

I have said enough…back to work.