Posts Tagged ‘ jealousy ’

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Happy Alone Valentines Day

So I was looking forward to spending this Valentines day with someone special, but as usual I screwed it up again. I moved too fast for her. We are still friends but I think that’s about it. I will be alone again for V-Day, it shouldn’t be a big surprise though. I am trying to stay positive through the loneliness.

Indigestion causing pandemic theology

The lusts of the many drawn out by the fortune of the few. It makes a man jealous and vile. The thoughts that provoke warranted action by the just. Yet also drives the vain to rampage.

I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s what has been on my mind tonight. I lust after a comfortable life. Though not destitute I am not well off. Some time not mentally sound yet completely coherent of the world around me. There have been moments in my life that I felt like I was sinking into a world created by my mind. One I could not escape. In wonder if I have been there all along and never realized it. Is what I see on a daily basis real or just a figment of my imagination, or worse a figment of someone or something else’s imagination.

Back to the point, why does the world that is imploding upon itself due to mans depravity cause the greed and wickedness in everyone to blaze so brightly? Why does money or lack there of cause people to crave what they cannot grasp reasonably? Why do the desires of mens hearts center around the idea that they are superior to everything around them?

It must be because no matter what man believes, no matter what silly ideas are propagated across lines of communication there is something more out there. The common word in the world, no matter the religion or sect is God. God is an iconic virtual basis that all men grab on to and use as leverage to distribute propaganda for whatever they deem fit. I see God as a kid with a magnifying glass over an ant hill some days and others as an all powerful destroyer of all that is unholy. Yet most days he/it is a virtual more base for for most to rest their values on. I do not know for sure what I would be classified as; agnostic, fallen Christian, blasphemer, etc. I do know that human action for the most part is just wrong, myself definitely included.

Now that my thought have been drained I will retire and hopefully wake to another day of life and struggles, but hopefully with a smile and some sarcasm I will push on to better things. Goodnight.